Project: Unstable balance

05 — SMOKE IN MY EYES

I left my old regrets on a plane in flight,
To carry them forever out of sight,
Beyond the farthest borders of the sky,
But close my eyes and there you are nearby.
You'd come back dressed in milk and honey sweet,
Whenever all our fighting would retreat,
You'd slip into my bed with practised ease,
A rattlesnake curled underneath the sheets.
What do you think we ever wear armour for?
To stop an axe from cutting to the core?
I put mine on whenever words begin,
So I don't bite your bait and get reeled in.
To keep from ending like a butterfly,
Pinned down by every prima-donna high,
I cut my wings away and left your side,
And now without them new skies open wide.
Your words are smoke you blow into my eyes,
To hide the truth beneath your alibis,
You only used me for your private aims,
A blue room full of toys and secret games.
Your words like smoke are burning in my eyes,
They sting so hard the tears begin to rise,
Because I hoped that what we had was true,
I took your tin for gold — I trusted you.
And still they burn until they make me cry,
Because I'd hoped for love, not one more lie.

The deepest transformations do not happen when we gain something, but when we are forced to let something go.

The caterpillar must abandon its old form to become a butterfly. But what happens when even the butterfly's wings become a boundary? When what once seemed like freedom turns out to be nothing more than a more elegant cage?

Sometimes life demands an even harder leap: letting go of who we thought we were.

Smoke in My Eyes is about that very moment. The moment when the spell dissolves, illusions lose their substance, and pain ceases to be a wound and becomes a direction.

It is not the story of a loss. It is the story of a transformation.

Because there are skies a butterfly can never reach, and freedoms that can only be won by giving up one's wings.